Is masculine makeup a contradiction in terms, or should we simply look to a definition of masculine loosened from the confines of traditional societal values?
A few months ago, I tried to date my Dad’s friend’s son. It didn’t work out, primarily I think because I didn’t feel like he was masculine enough to date me. Not literally on those terms, I just felt like he was more gay than straight and it made me feel undesirable and unappreciated. That in and of itself is funny. Why should someone who is also attracted to men make a woman feel unappreciated? Needless to say my whole reaction to the situation was extremely closed minded in retrospect.
Regardless, recently we became friends again. I do makeup for theater productions, and with my usually dogged persistence, I persuaded him to let me do his make up. I just blurred imperfections and accentuated his eyes. I found him so alluring!
And why not? Why can’t sultry, kohl lined eyes be sexy and mysterious on men as well as women? Our society practically mandates that sexy, polished women must wear makeup, and yet unless you are dressing up as a pirate, it’s considered effeminate for males.
I don’t think everyone should wear make-up all the time, but I certainly think that the balls it takes to pull off the look with confidence should be taken into account when society judges men who wear makeup.
He’s going to let me do his makeup again soon, and I’m going to be proud to walk around downtown with him in our conservative, certainly diversity lacking town. Do any other ladies (or guys) find straight (or bi) men more attractive with makeup?
So long story short, a few months ago my ex-boyfriend was unpacking his bag at our lake house and pulled out the shirt pictured.
“Isn’t this a sweet shirt I just got?” He asked, which honestly must have been a rhetorical question.
I think I stared for a few seconds.
“No. Thats a walking poster for sexual objectification.”
“I just like her tattoos.” Bullshit response. *cough*
“No, you like it because you think people will think you’re cool for having a sexually objectified girl on your shirt.” (Aren’t I fun to date?)
“That’s just what society says makes women hot. Women are sexy when they are in objectifying poses, men are sexy when they look powerful. That’s not my fault.”
“Just because that’s what society dictates doesn’t mean you need to perpetuate the double standard.”
The argument ended somewhere around there with me insanely irritated that my concerns were blown off, and him retorting I could basically shove my opinion up my ass because he “liked the tattoos.”
I burst out laughing at my luck when I found it left at my house. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t notice… or didn’t have the guts to ask for it back.
At first I was going to throw it away, but I thought about it, it seemed to me that if a girl wore the shirt, it wouldn’t be offensive in the same way.
I suppose that’s because I feel like when some guys look at women in overly sexual poses, they get this attitude like it’s for them, or that she is a slut and an object. While on the other hand, I know that when I at least look at really sexual women, I just think they are really sexual, the end. Kind of like the difference between a teenage boy having porn posters on his wall, versus if I, a heterosexual woman, had them. For me it would be art and an pride in female sexuality, not objectification. (Maybe I should get some?)
The more I mulled over it (is it funny how important this issue became?) the more I thought that if I wore the shirt, I could reverse it’s message from sexual objectification to sexual liberation.
In the end, I decided it was stupid that a sexual pose often equates to objectification. Lame that society says it’s okay to equate strong sexuality in females to sluttiness, while the same people don’t say a really sexual guy (Channing as Magic Mike anyone?) is less of a person for his performance.
So I wrote TAKING BACK OUR SEXUALITY on her back (hard to see), because I don’t think it’s right that people don’t respect sexual women.
I don’t think it’s okay that when I wear fishnets people look at me like I must suck dick for a living.
And I don’t think it’s okay that for whatever reason I was so incredibly offended by the shirt in the first place.
What do you think? Am I setting a double standard by thinking it’s offensive for a guy to wear this shirt in today’s political climate but not a girl? Am I hurting more than helping by thinking women should be as sexual as they want and make it loud they are more than an object?
Marvelous is my favorite adjective for a positive thing. I am one of those people who likes to think about words that mean the same thing and over analyze them like pageant contestants to determine which one does the best job.
And I determined that marvelous wins. Wonderful is froofy, magnificent too removed, delightful is the choice of debutantes scorning unfashionable peers.
Sublime takes second, but it’s a touch too pretentious.
Now try saying it, marvelous. Sarcastically! Now ferociously or with a slight drawl on the ‘a’ for sex appeal, eyes narrowed, or perhaps too much emphasis on the ‘s’ to suggest malicious intentions.
Isn’t is lovely! So versatile! So willing to adapt! Clap it on the back. Kiss it on the cheek. I would like to think marvelous serves me well, and even if it doesn’t, I flaunt it with such confidence I could fool you into second guessing your disdain.
I googled marvelous, and this picture came up.
Now look at the picture, and say the word, and tell me it isn’t the champion. Or if you aren’t buying it, what is your favorite word for denoting positive qualities? 🙂